on science

today i realized that i will sacrifice my science for my art, but at the moment, not my art for the science.
Do I even still want to be a scientist? I continually ask myself this. Maybe that's a reason I feel like I'm not doing a great job. I should give myself a deadline. End of June. There. To decide whether to continue or not.
In other news, I'm sick. Kinda. Hosting two couchsurfers: Natalia and John. John knows I'm queer. He says he's straight. But I'm still paranoid about the Brettman incident. I don't really want to get propositioned for sex again by a so-called straight man.
Tonight, drinks at Gold Room!