Growing Up

I am growing up slowly. One thing I'm learning is to let go of people who will not support me in my life in the way I want. I wanted to be friends with Ray. Wasn't trying real hard, though. And I saw him yesterday after Rage. We talked briefly. He texted me today and said how awkward that conversation was and how if I wanted to be friends with him, that I shouldn't be so full of shit and making excuses. Then, he sent another message saying my new frames are ugly and he's only telling me this as a friend.
I know I've hurt him by saying I wasn't interested in him as a boyfriend, but these exchanges made me realize I didn't want him as a friend either. I don't want his energy in my life right now. I need, I crave, affirming individuals in my life right now. Not people who are intentionally (although he denies it) trying to hurt me.
I had to pull the plug on that before it got any more damaging.
Today, I intended to talk to my mom more about me being gay. Since I told her via letter almost 2.5 years ago (wow, that long), we haven't talked about it since and she's in denial. I tried to bring it up again on the way back from church, but I got scared. I thought I'd be braver, but the words never exited my mouth. This is what I wanted to say: "You may not like me being gay, but I just want to put it out there again since I want to more honest with you. And whether you like it or not, I hope you still love me."